Monday, 24 March 2008

Death to the Demon Toaster

I have been held hostage by my toaster for the last two years. This may sound odd but I have two weaknesses that allowed this to happen. The first one... toast is my comfort food. A nice piece of toast covered in butter and cashew butter (I'm allergic to peanuts) makes my heart sing and my toes tingle. If Cory wasn't around to ensure that I was eating a balanced diet, I would happily live on toast until scurvy overtook me.

My other weakness is that complete and total inability to replace a "working" item. It feels so wasteful... sure the item is unsatisfactory but it works... sorta. I've had my TV for over a decade, my computer is almost 7 years old and until recently, my car was an unattractive, gas guzzler that I drove into the ground for 12 years.

Two years ago, we received a toaster as a gift. It was all shiny and new. Without testing its usability, we donated the old one to charity and embarked on what should have been a long and lasting friendship. I like my toast lightly toasted. This demon of a toaster took 6 pops to get a light tan on my bread. Cory perfers a darker toast... he usually gave up after the 9th pop. We would hold the popper thingy down and it would make an un-godly noise. Sometimes it would latch but most times you were forced to stand there holding the toast down. Every piece of toast was cursed at....

Our toaster was a conversation piece. We discussed and fantasized about ways to destroy this demon spawn that was ruining my toast experience. Hammers, baseball bats, a gentle punt into a brick wall... each dream becoming more and more joyful with each toasting experience. But this week, it all changed...

My mother, the angel who gave me life, bought us a NEW toaster. For the first time in two years, I can eat toast without anger. It is shiny and pretty and has lots of buttons, but most importantly, it actually TOASTS bread.

We have yet to discard the corpse of the demon toaster. No punishment has been found suitable for it yet. I fear discarding it intact for fear that some unsuspecting soul will adopt it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Friday, 21 March 2008

Vacation Update

Well, I'm on day 5 of my 8 day vacation. So far I've read 4 books, had my Lasik consultation, had dinner with my family, bought a new coffee maker, did a pile of laundry.. all this squeezed in between a multitude of naps.

I'm still struggling with this cold... although after this much time, I don't think I can call it a cold anymore. My throat is still sore and I'm still coughing (mostly when I'm trying to sleep). I think I'm gonna take my cold to visit the doctor if it doesn't clear up by the time I can get an appointment.

My Lasik consultation was pretty interesting. I was surprised to find out I was a candidate after all. We even discussed the Grave's in relation to Lasik and other than eye dryness, there really isn't a concerned. Apparently I have thicker than average cornea's (I'm told this is a very good thing). I do have slightly larger pupils than the average person so they are recommending Zyoptix laser correction instead of normal Lasik to ensure that I do not have poor night vision. The bottom line for the Zyoptix is the same for everyone at $3500 but it does come with a lifetime maintenance package. As it is a medical procedure, there is not tax and I can use it to claim on my income tax for the year. Now to come up with my $3500... This is a good time for everyone to click on my ads.

Saturday, 15 March 2008

Caffeine Update

Well... during my trip to Ontario... I fell off the wagon but as soon as I got home I was back on the wagon. Down another 5 lbs. The number I used to weight is now to the far right of the dial when I look down... I can't wait for it to disappear completely. I'm now 30ish lbs from my ultimate goal. 15lbs gone in total so far... 1/3 of the way there.

Friday, 14 March 2008

Back from the Dead

Well... the colds have finally moved on to better hosts. Other than a little left over sniffling and coughing, I feel like I've returned from the dead. I have one more day of work before I enjoy my first vacation of 2008. I have absolutely no plans for vacation... well no concrete plans anyways. I have an appointment for a consultation for Lasik eye surgery on Tuesday and that is about it.

I'm a little excited/apprehensive of my consultation. Back in 1995 I was diagnosed with Graves Disease which impacts the thyroid, eyes and skin. I lucked out with no skin manifestation and a little impact to my eyes... but impact none the less. Graves Disease is an auto-immune disorder and the eye portion is the antibodies attacking the muscles in the back of the eye. When I saw my opthamologist the last time, I asked about Lasik and he told me that Graves is the back of the eye, Lasik is the front... shouldn't be a problem. Yet I'm afraid that they will tell me that I am not a candidate due to eye dryness. That would rot.

I've worn glasses since the 6th grade. I've been very lucky and have only destroyed one set of glasses in the last 20 plus years. Last week, the nose pads fell off my glasses and the 3 hours of wearing my old glasses while we went for repair sealed my decision to have Lasik.

I am very squeamish about having my eyes touched by someone other than me. So this should be a good time.

Saturday, 8 March 2008

There's no place like home

So we made it home in time for me to come down with the second flu/cold for the season. This one had a different flare than the last one. High fever, body aches and a wicked sore throat. Joy and Rapture!

I went to work the first day... big mistake! By the end of the day, I was in rough shape.. came home and slept for 26 hours. Just starting to feel like myself again... hopefully this is the last one of the season.

Monday, 3 March 2008

Portable Shelagh

Greetings from Ontario!

The only thing more exciting than an adventure is an unplanned adventure. On Thursday, we were given an opportunity to travel to Ontario. We jumped on it. I begged and pleaded for the days off to make the trip and as a result of the worlds greatest boss, I got the days off.

The plan was to have a 2 day trip, with a return on the red eye on Saturday night. Mother Nature decided that we needed to experience more of Ontario. Planning and winter are not good travel partners.

On Saturday we drove to Kingston Ontario to visit my sister in law. We really wanted to surprise her so we showed up unannouced. As we stood on her door step looking at a doorbell that was not in working order and an ineffectual attempt to knock on the door, we called. After 3 minutes of convincing her that we were actually on her doorstep, she finally let us in.

Our plan was to spend the afternoon with her and then head back into Toronto to catch our flight.... too bad our flight was cancelled. The next flight that I could find that wasn't executive class was the Red Eye Monday night. So our few hour visit turned into a few day visit instead. After some scattering to extend our kittysitters and a trip to the mall to buy more underwear, we settled in for a nice visit.

We are just now getting ready to head back into Toronto for dinner with a friend before heading to the airport. Looks like we are going to hit Toronto at 5 PM. I'm sure the traffic will remind me how much I love Halifax and our offensively polite drivers, respect for speed limits and rush hour traffic that means you have to wait a light for one complete light cycle.

On-Board GPS Navigation is absolutely the best invention since clumpable kitty litter. Anyways, the next post will be from Nova Scotia! Cross your fingers for us!!